The Golden Handcuffs: How Your High Income Is Keeping You Trapped

My client sat across from me, visibly exhausted.

He was 43. VP at a tech company. Total comp around $320K when you factored in bonus and equity.

On paper, he was winning.

In reality, he was miserable.

"I hate my job," he said. "I've hated it for three years. But I can't leave. The mortgage is $4,800 a month. Private school is $36K a year for two kids. We just bought my wife a new car. And honestly? I don't even know what we spend the rest on. It just... disappears."

He paused. Looked down at his hands.

"I make more money than I ever thought possible. And I've never felt more stuck."

Welcome to the golden handcuffs.

The trap where your income is high enough to fund an expensive lifestyle—but not high enough to escape it.

Where you're making great money and living paycheck to paycheck at the same time.

Where the very thing that's supposed to set you free is the thing keeping you prisoner.

Let's talk about how this happens—and more importantly, how to break free.

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How the Golden Handcuffs Get Locked

It doesn't happen overnight. It's a slow, seductive trap that tightens one upgrade at a time.

Here's the pattern:

You get your first big promotion. Suddenly you're making $100K. You've arrived.

You upgrade the apartment. Nothing crazy—just a nicer place in a better neighborhood. You deserve it.

Next year, another raise. You're at $130K now. You trade in the old car. Lease something nicer. It's only $600/month.

Year three: $160K. The wedding costs $40K. The honeymoon is another $10K. You put it on credit cards. You'll pay it off.

Year five: $200K. Time to buy a house. The bank approves you for $700K. You stretch to $650K because the schools are better.

Year seven: $250K. Two kids now. Private preschool is $24K/year. Daycare before that was $30K. You're not even sure where the money goes anymore—it just goes.

Year ten: $320K. You're a VP. You've made it.

And you're trapped.

Because now:

• Your mortgage is $4,800/month
• Private school is $3,000/month
• Car payments are $1,200/month
• Childcare and activities are $2,000/month
• Insurance, utilities, groceries, subscriptions—another $3,000/month
• Retirement contributions, taxes, healthcare—half your paycheck before you see it

You're making $320K and you need every dollar of it just to stay afloat.

You can't take a pay cut. You can't take a sabbatical. You can't pivot to something more meaningful but lower-paying.

You're locked in.

And the worst part? You did this to yourself.

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The Three Lies That Keep the Handcuffs Locked

Lie #1: "I've earned this lifestyle."

You have. You worked hard. You climbed the ladder. You deserve nice things.

But here's the question nobody asks:

Is the lifestyle worth the cost?

Not the financial cost—the life cost.

The cost of doing a job you hate for another 15 years. The cost of missing your kids' childhoods because you're always working. The cost of Sunday night dread and Monday morning resentment.

You've earned the lifestyle. But has the lifestyle earned you?

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Lie #2: "I can't afford to make less."

Yes, you can. You just can't afford to make less and maintain your current lifestyle.

But what if you didn't?

What if you:

• Sold the house and moved somewhere 30% cheaper
• Pulled the kids from private school (they'll survive—public school isn't prison)
• Sold one car, paid off the other
• Cut subscriptions, memberships, and expenses you don't actually value

Suddenly, you don't need $320K. You need $180K. Maybe $150K.

And at that income level, your options explode.

You can take the job you actually want. You can go part-time. You can start the business. You can consult on your terms.

The handcuffs aren't locked by your income. They're locked by your expenses.

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Lie #3: "I'll do this for a few more years, then I'll be free."

No, you won't.

Because in a few more years:

• The kids will be in high school (even more expensive)
• You'll be older, more tired, more entrenched
• Your lifestyle will have crept up again
• And you'll say the same thing: "Just a few more years."

The golden handcuffs don't unlock themselves. They tighten over time.

The only way out is to make a decision—and act on it.

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The Two Paths Out

If you're locked in the golden handcuffs, you have two options.

Path 1: Cut Your Expenses (The Fast Path)

This is the most direct route to freedom—and the one most people refuse to take.

Here's what it looks like:

• Audit every expense ruthlessly
• Cut everything that doesn't directly contribute to your happiness or goals
• Downsize where it makes sense (house, cars, schools)
• Live on 50–60% of your income
• Deploy the rest into cash-flowing assets

The result: You reduce your dependency on your high income, which gives you options.

Why people resist this: Because it feels like going backward. Like admitting defeat. Like you "failed" at the lifestyle you built.

But here's the reframe:

You're not going backward. You're buying your freedom.

Every dollar you cut from expenses is a dollar of income you no longer need to earn.

And every dollar you don't need to earn is a piece of your life you get back.

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Path 2: Build Passive Income (The Slow Path)

If you can't (or won't) cut expenses, you need to build income that doesn't require you.

Here's what it looks like:

• Keep the job (for now)
• Live on 70–80% of your income
• Deploy the other 20–30% into cash-flowing assets (real estate, dividend stocks, businesses)
• Build passive income to $2K/month, then $4K, then $6K, then $10K
• When passive income covers your expenses, the job becomes optional

The result: You maintain your lifestyle while building an exit ramp.

Why people resist this: Because it's slow. It takes 5–10 years. And it requires discipline, patience, and delayed gratification.

But here's the truth:

Those 5–10 years are passing whether you build or not.

You can spend them locked in the handcuffs, hoping something changes.

Or you can spend them systematically building the income that sets you free.

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The Hybrid Path (The Smart Path)

Most people don't need to choose. They need to do both.

Cut expenses by 20–30%. Deploy the savings into assets. Accelerate your timeline.

Example:

• You're making $250K, spending $220K, saving $30K
• You cut expenses to $180K (downsize house, pull kids from private school, sell one car)
• Now you're saving $70K/year
• You deploy that into rental properties, dividend stocks, syndications
• In 5 years, you've built $3K–$5K/month in passive income
• In 10 years, you're financially free

That's the path.

Not sexy. Not fast. But it works.

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The Question You Need to Ask Yourself

Sit with this one:

If your income dropped to $100K tomorrow, what would you change?

Write it down. Be honest.

• Would you move?
• Would you sell a car?
• Would you change schools?
• Would you cut subscriptions, memberships, trips?

Now ask yourself: Why aren't you doing those things now?

Because if those changes would be fine at $100K, they'd be fine at $250K too.

The only difference is that at $250K, you have the option to overspend.

And that option is the trap.

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Here's the Truth:

The golden handcuffs aren't about income. They're about choices.

You chose the house. The cars. The schools. The lifestyle.

And you can choose differently.

You're not stuck because you don't make enough. You're stuck because you spend too much.

And the moment you realize that—the moment you see that the lock is on your side of the door—everything changes.

Because you're not a victim of your income.

You're the architect of your expenses.

And you can redesign the blueprint anytime you want.

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Ready to unlock the handcuffs and build real freedom?

The Financial Freedom Accelerator is an 8-week, live coaching experience that teaches you how to break free from income dependency—by cutting expenses strategically, building cash-flowing assets, and designing a life you actually own.

Led by investor and mentor Erik Hitzelberger, this isn't about deprivation or get-rich-quick schemes. It's about building a plan that gives you options, control, and freedom.

Learn More About Financial Freedom Accelerator

Because the golden handcuffs don't unlock themselves.

You have to choose to take them off.

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